I enjoy the slur part the most, although I do enjoy the rest of the course as well. I am one of those who always go after people after they say something, asking "what do you mean exactly when you say ****/use that word?" Without knowing I was discussing "Philosophy of Language," I'd already discussed it a lot before I took this class. However, I could never comfortably discuss slurs here, even with friends. I always feel like mentioning "Lord Voldemort" in Harry Porter, whenever I want to mention any slurs. I have no bad intention, but how can others know?! So I am just really happy I get a chance to freely (not quite) talk about some "taboos" in this class and humbly share opinions with others.
Coming from a country that does not quite have an idea of slurs, I never quite understand slurs very well. On Facebook, whenever someone posts a picture, his/her friends and families definitely comment "oh, you are so pretty, my dear", or "you guys look soooo cute together"... If anyone even just tries to joke (by saying something negative), there is a good chance that someone will comment "rude" or "you are so messed up" later. Growing up, whenever my friends or I post pictures on Chinese social website, we only get comments like "ugh, you must gain some weight", "your photoshop skill is getting better", or "your girlfriend must be retarded or blind to find you". But, we do not get mad at all, because we think "they must feel very close to us to say something like this without worrying". In fact, the people who comment first or most usually have a crush on the person who posts stuff. Just some fun facts! :-P
Coming from a country that does not quite have an idea of slurs, I never quite understand slurs very well. On Facebook, whenever someone posts a picture, his/her friends and families definitely comment "oh, you are so pretty, my dear", or "you guys look soooo cute together"... If anyone even just tries to joke (by saying something negative), there is a good chance that someone will comment "rude" or "you are so messed up" later. Growing up, whenever my friends or I post pictures on Chinese social website, we only get comments like "ugh, you must gain some weight", "your photoshop skill is getting better", or "your girlfriend must be retarded or blind to find you". But, we do not get mad at all, because we think "they must feel very close to us to say something like this without worrying". In fact, the people who comment first or most usually have a crush on the person who posts stuff. Just some fun facts! :-P
I think your example in the second case also hints some important perspective of slurs, which can be partially characterized as similar to Hom's idea of appropriating slurs. As for the case for Hom, he takes the appropriate of slurs as a strategy used by the targeted group as a way to undermine the derogatory power of certain slurs so that the derogatory content would gradually fade out. However, in your case, the derogatory content was not there in the first place. Although from an outsider point of view, those comment may taste as having certain vicious intentions. Yet both your friends and those commentators knows that there is no derogation in that context at all. Here, the seemingly derogatory contents are a sign of intimacy, just like people use the N-word to address their intimate bros. This brings about another interesting case, if both side(speaker and hearer) somewhat reach an agreement that certain use of slurs are not derogatory, is it sufficient to cancel derogatory power of those slurs that are mentioned? For this question, I believe that an agreement indeed have power of cancelling that derogatory force since both sides do not have derogatory intention. However, an agreement between individuals may be reached easily, while such agreement is made seemingly impossible to be reached in a societal level. However, as a lot of previous slurs have lost their meaning, those current slurs are just on its way to become perished, while some new slurs might be introduced in the future under a different context.
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